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Subscribe to RSSTanya Ratcliff burst into tears as she left her fertility doctor’s office. She’d just been told that though she could conceive, she’d never be able to carry a baby. Without a surrogate there would be no hope of producing a child from any of those the picture perfect embryos formed when her eggs united in the test tube with her husband Dan’s sperm.
But as Tanya sat weeping in her car in the fertility clinic's parking lot, her sisters, Tara Schamel and Cassie Ripp offered one of the most precious gifts a sibling could: they would carry the babies she could not.
Today both sisters are pregnant with Tanya and Dan’s babies. Tara is expected to give birth to a baby girl in April, while Cassie is due to deliver a baby boy in July.
“Every day my husband and I will just stop and say, wait, I just can’t believe this is happening,” Tanya told NBC's Janet Shamlian. “To be able to have two children with all the limitations I had just blows my mind.”
Tanya and Dan Ratcliff had planned to start a family right after they married. But after months and months passed with no pregnancy, they turned to a fertility clinic for help. At first the news was good. The couple’s sperm and eggs were healthy enough to produce 14 embryos.
The problem was, Tanya’s womb didn’t respond properly to the hormone treatments designed to plump up its lining. Doctors told the couple the embryos wouldn’t survive if they were transferred to Tanya’s uterus.
That’s when the sisters stepped in. Tara, 35, has twin 9-year-olds and a 6-year-old daughter. Cassie, 26, is a single mother with a 3-year-old daughter. Tanya remembers her emotions when her sisters’ offered their gift.
“I was crying,” she told TODAY’s Ann Curry. “It was raining outside and we were sitting in the car at the fertility clinic and she said to me, ‘somebody in this car will be pregnant with one of your babies by the end of this year.”
Tara said she and Cassie were delighted to be able to help their sister.
"Cassie and I had been talking about it behind the scenes and I had been talking about it with my husband, and the little wheels in my head were turning, and I knew this was something that we could do if we were physically able to,” Tara told Curry. “It would be a great gift.”
The plan they suggested was to have embryos transferred to both of them in order to raise the likelihood that at least one would become pregnant.
The process wasn’t easy for either sister. To get Tara and Cassie ready for the embryos, doctors first treated them with medications that stopped them from ovulating and in essence shot them temporarily into a menopause-like state. Then the sisters were given large doses of estrogen to ready their wombs for the embryos.
After embryos were transferred to both women’s wombs, the waiting began. Two weeks later they learned that Tara had become pregnant, but Cassie had not. After discussing the situation with Tanya, Cassie decided she wanted to keep trying and on the third attempt - with the last of Dan and Tanya’s frozen embryos - she became pregnant, too.
Tanya explained on her blog why she and Cassie agreed to keep trying.
“Dan and I have always wanted several children,” she wrote. “Of course we would prefer them two or three years apart like most people, but we don’t have the same options as most people. For us to have more children, we need help from other people. Tara will be shutting up shop after this pregnancy, and I could never ask her to make this sacrifice again. Cassie wants to get married and have more children of her own down the road. So this is our window of time to have that family we always wanted – however crazy and strange it may seem to some.”
Now, as the couple waits for the birth of their two children, Dan is still amazed at the huge gift that his wife’s sisters have bestowed on them.
“It was unbelievable,” he told Curry. “To give up your body for a whole year for us. It’s just unbelievable.”
Cassie, with a smile, reminded Dan that her job would be over with the delivery but his and Tanya’s would be just starting.
“I think being pregnant is the easy part,” she told Curry. With a laugh she added, “Raising the children is the tougher part. I’m glad I’ll be able to see the children being raised.”
Linda Carroll is a regular contributor to msnbc.com and TODAY.com. She is co-author of the new book "The Concussion Crisis: Anatomy of a Silent Epidemic”
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While I think it is wonderful that family stepped up in this case to help the couple fulfill their dreams of having a child, I'm appalled at the lengths some people will go to so they can have "a child of their own" when there are so many orphaned children in America, let alone the world, who could be "their child".
Charle, you took the words right out of my mouth. The only thing I can think of is these people believe they are so genetically superior to everyone else that no orphan could possibly live up to their expectations. They are sick!
It is very easy for you to say they are sick and think their children are superior over others, when you haven't been told that you cannot have your own child. Who is to say this family won't go on to adopt? And who cares if they don't. This is a very personal decission and it's fabulous that the opportunity is there for families in this situation. To fulfill their dreams! I think the only one who is sick is you, for being so closed minded. It's very easy to say what you would do in a situation, but until you are actually faced with it you have absolutely no idea what lengths you would go to.
Just curious. How many adopted children do you have?
That question is for Charle and Udonno
@Charle7834 - Do you have an adopted child or do you have immediate plans to adopt? Or are you one of the lucky people in this world that can have children naturally so you think infertile couples should just take one for the team and adopt someone's unwanted child? Couples that suffer from fertility issues should not be deprived from experiencing the miracle of pregnancy and child birth. I say this from personal experience as I am currently pregnant with twins conceived after 2 rounds of IVF. My husband and I are not sick! As long as modern medicine will allow a way for us to conceive we will have our own children and if you believe in the adoption cause so much you should adopt!
@ UDunnoBro - See above! I will also add that no one said anything about believing they are genetically superior to anyone.
My point being, everyone has the option to adopt and is not just restricted to those who can not conceive naturally or have fertility issues. Adoption is a choice for all and a wonderful choice. It was also a choice for this woman (and her loving sisters) to go through medical procedures to have biological children and I am sure that it has nothing to do with them thinking that their genes are somehow superior anymore than anyone who chooses to have biological children. I think it's wonderful to have these options available. No one should feel like they HAVE to adopt.
The other thing you have to consider based on what @Crowingjen is saying. Is that not everyone qualifies for adoption and even when you consider adoption it isnt always possible. Me and my fiance don't qualify as we both have Asperger and Sensory processing disorder, but we have a 17 month old daughter, who has speech problems and her state appointmented therapists, say she is in the best care they have ever seen. It's because of our disablities that we know how to help her. We both work and we are both successes. He has 3 degrees in Biology and chemistry and I have one in child care. What looks bad on paper for things like adoption isnt always bad in real life. And vice versa.
My husband and I found uot it would cost four times as much to adopt than to have fertility treatments. We decided we'd rather be able to raise the child in relative comfort than adopt one and be on the brink of bankruptcy.
Just how many "orphaned" children are there in America, Charle? And do you have any idea of how difficult it can be to adopt? While it is true that there are many older children available for adoption via the foster system, many of these children are special needs. If they've been in the system for any length of time, they can be very damaged emotionally. Not everyone is able for that sort of challenge, and I can tell you this from personal experience. I believe that adoption of healthy babies, any race, is mostly handled via the private route. This is very expensive and there are far more couples wanting to adopt than babies available. So while you can blithely toss off "they should adopt," the reality isn't nearly as easy as you make it sound.
Good Grief people. Why don't you just be happy everything is going well and wish them them the best! This is a story about a special gift the sisters are giving and some of you are turning it into a story of how this couple is selfish for not adopting.....IT IS NOT YOUR LIFE...
Exactly! I wish them all the best, it was a lovely story.
As a parent of both an adopted and a biological child, I would also ask those who always comment on these kinds of articles with 'why don't they just adopt', if they've adopted. Why is it only the responsibility of infertile people to adopt children in need of a home? It is NOT an easy process and as others have stated, not everyone is eligible to adopt. Plus, if you've never felt the pain of not being able to get pregnant, you don't know how it would make you feel. We adopted our first son after many years of not being able to get pregnant, and I am thankful that my path led me to him. But it was an arduous, expensive process that required numerous background checks, home visits, classes and pages upon pages of paperwork. And now that he's been home with us for four years, we know that in addition to it being the same lifelong commitment any child is, it is also lifelong process. We know very little about our son's birth parents and he has really struggled at times to understand why someone chose to place him for adoption and not raise him. We make our home a safe place for him to ask whatever questions he wants and I think we are dealing with it well, but anyone who would say it is easy would be wrong. It has led to behavioral and emotional issues at time. Overall, he is just a normal kid with normal behaviors, but sometimes it's really heartwrenching when he goes through a period of time where he really thinking about it alot. I absolutely don't regret one single moment of it and would do it all over again and again. He's my son and I feel no differently for him than for my daughter that we surprisingly became pregnant with a few years later. Of course, any parent has issues to deal with whether their kids are adopted or biological, and many are not easy, but I always feel compelled to post a response to those people who haven't dealt with infertility who so cavalierly toss off, 'just adopt' as if it is like going to the local Wal-Mart and picking up a kid. A person has to grieve when they realize they are unable to have a biological child. An adopted child deserves a parent that has dealt with their grief and is truly ready to make the commitment to adopt.
It is virtually impossible to adopt an orphan. If the baby was born in the United States, there is a waiting list, and it seems that every single relative and neighbor has to sign off on the adoption, and then they can change their minds at the last minute, especially the father, who may show up out of nowhere.
If a baby was born outside the U.S., chances are that there is something that will legally go wrong with the adoption, and it takes forever for the adoption to go through.
crowingjen, there are no lucky people that can bear children, only unfortunate ones that can not. Judging by the huge number of tens that accidentally get pregnant, it's pretty easy. The majority of people go to great lengths to avoid having children until they are ready, then think it's the end of world when they find out they can't. While it's true there aren't many newborns available for adoption, there are many thousands of older children from age three to 15 that pray and hope some family will take them in from the orphanages and foster homes they live in.
I don't know why women are so fixated in adopting newborns, rather then an older child a few years older which is what happens to newborns eventually. If I had to do it all over again, I would ask my wife to adopt a five and seven year old, rather then live through the diaper changes and having to deal with an infant who can't really communicate with you.
@ BP the Grape, You can still adopt through foster care if you are that passionate about it. Not everyone is a baby person, and that is fine. However, some people want to experience every day, month, year of their children's growing up years, and that is fine, too. If it's not a big deal for you, and you feel that strongly about not procreating that the newborn phase is no big deal, be sure to encourage your kids to adopt through foster care rather than have a child through procreation. Start your family legacy now in changing that dynamic.
The point about "why don't you adopt" has to do with people wanting sympathy. It suggests that a person is so set on having his/her own biological child that s/he will leave a child sitting in foster care, a situation in which the child is very likely to be molested and abused, because s/he doesn't want to take on the responsibility of dealing with a child that is not "perfect" or because s/he thinks that it is in some way more fulfilling to have one of his/her own.
Yes, it is difficult to adopt the perfect little infant that you can pretend is your own--it is very, very hard to do that now. It is, however, extraordinarily easy--so easy that people who probably shouldn't have been allowed to adopt a child, do adopt a child--to adopt a child who is languishing in foster care. Bloody easy.
So, basically, the point here is that no one wants to hear you whine and no one wants to hear about your "miracles." If you have to have a child to raise and your arms ache for a child--well, go and get one. All children are beautiful, all children are miracles, and all children deserve a family. But, apparently, the children in foster care aren't "your responsibility" but we all should take them on as "our responsibility"--that is, you don't think that you have the "responsibility" of "dealing with that problem."
Yes--that attitude is a nasty one, and people are pointing it out. If you want to spend hundreds of thousands in the effort to produce a mini-me, then do not come whining in a thread like this and don't be really surprised if people are unpleasant if you should get an article on you like this one. You might not be worth of criticism, but you are also not worthy of praise or sympathy. When you try to justify your decision, you use very nasty language--and you are getting called on it.
The decision to have a child is a private one--if you want to go the route of having a "mini-me" because the other children are not good enough for you, then fine. But, don't come here and expect any sympathy and please stop rationalizing your decision for the rest of us.
No--I don't have an adopted child; I am too old now. I had one by "accident"--and while the child is delightful, I didn't really want to be a parent and could not afford that one and certainly couldn't afford another. It is often those of us who struggle to provide for the one child we have and who have had family members whose children were taken away because they could not provide for them (and who are now languishing in foster care) who really have very little patience for the extremely well-to-do who cannot have children "the usual way."
Adopting a baby through foster care is a lot more noteworthy and a lot more heroic than the situation that we see here. One very rarely sees it discussed in shows like this--though we see way more stories about the miracles of fertility clinics than most of us care to see. Foster children need a lot more sympathy than you do--and that is my main point. Have a great day.
@ Bean at home. There really are not that many kids free for adoption in foster care. Believe me, we have tried several times to adopt through foster care. It's difficult to adopt. Difficult to adopt independently and difficult to adopt through foster care.
This is such an awesome story! Good luck to all!
What exciting advances have been made in the field of fertility, just as in other fields of medicine.! Many couples have been helped to have a child of their own, and it doesn't have anything to do with thinking they are genetically superior. They are not sick, UDUNNO Bro! You sure don't know until you have been there and walked down that same path.
I'm sure there are many people who have adopted successfully, but people do not realize the cost. You might be surprised to know that in some cases, in vitro can be less expensive - depending how many times you try. My sister and her husband adopted and it cost them just over $30k, plus they had to remodel their 1946 house to bring it up to current code (no lead or asbestos, electrical, etc.), another $12k. A coworker adopted and after 6 months the birth mother changed her mind, a devastating emotional and financial blow. They had saved for years and decided not to repeat the experience.
Really. Don't you think it was best to make sure a house didn't have asbestos or lead bringing ANY baby home, biological or adopted? I also worry about the misinformation spread by saying that an adoption was reversed after six months. That is very rare and actually should never happen. Once the biological parents have signed the paperwork, which usually happens within forty eight hours after birth, they have to prove coercion in order for the adoption to be reversed. It is much more common for an adoption to be disrupted before the child is born. Not a good situation, but not as bad as bonding with a baby for six months and having him/her taken away.
Then how was my friend's child almost given back to the biological fatehr after almost a year of raising the boy? Yeah - sometimes the moms don't name the father on the birth certificate and then the biological father has to fight to get custody.
In a perfect world, the 48 hours is true - but unfortunately, most adoptions like that aren't perfect situations.
1. In most states, the birth mother can not sign paperwork until 24-48 hours after the baby is born
2. In most states, the biological parents have 6 months to change their mind.
1. Saying that most bio parents have 6 months to change their minds is not necessarily true. It depends from state to state and even county to county within that state. In my state it varies by county. The paperwork can't be signed for 48 hours after the babies birth. Rights are not actually terminated until it goes to court. Birthparents can change their mind until the TPR hearing. After that they can not take the baby back. The adoptive parents are still monitored by the homestudy agency for 6 months before they can go back to court to finalize.
2. When people say "just adopt" they have no idea what they are saying, and it really irritates me. Then other use the financial cost of why people should/should not adopt. Adoption is not easy. Some people are not prepared to handle the emotional aspects of adoption, and should not adopt. Actually, although the cost is huge, it is a small part of the adoption process. What potential adoptive parents should ask themselves is "am I prepared to meet the potential emotional needs of my adopted child"? "Have I truly made peace with not having bio kids"? "Am I seeing adoption as Plan A or it is second best in my mind". If the answer to any of those is No, then please don't adopt until you can answer yes to all of them. I
10 years ago, my sister Annette and I were surrogates for my sister Patti. She now has 2 beautiful daughters. We are so proud that we made such a difference in Patti's life and will be forever grateful for that opportunity. We love watching our nieces grow and treasure the special bond we all have. Congratulations to all of you.
This is creepy. I believe in natural selection. So, how many of these "embryos" are going to be born with no lungs, or holes in their heart, or some other weird problem? Could this end up being another one of these weird things that produces mutliple babies from one 'pregnancy'? What then? I see 3 women and one guy; all very nutty. Think about explaining all of this weirdness to the existing kids? Oh, hey Timmy. Here's your new cousin, err brother. Then the "adults" thinking "Yeah, this is normal" the whole time. Hey Barb! Say hi to your new son, err nephew, Goofernius Zygote III. He was born with no arms so he can't hug you, but he has a big hug for you in his hole-y heart!
This group of people have far too much discretionary income, and I don't understand why this would be considered professionally correct or acceptable by the Dr Frankenstein that put this whole scheme together.
Really, are you that stupid? Have you read literature on the IVF process? These are embryos as if they would grow inside your body. Your comments actually made me laugh. Hey congrats here's your brother cousin, really it's genetically the sister and her husbands sperm being carried in another womb. That does not make the child the one carrying the child. Your ignorance humors me. You should really read up about genetics and natural selection because with that stupidity I have a feeling you must be getting by on your looks, which is even sadder than your ignorance. How about you read before make ignorant statements.
As for those who think adoption is an easier route, why didn't you choose adoption? It's really not that easy. I am thankful for the doctors who helped me have my girls and you know what they are perfect. I didn't think I was superior in anyway but I wanted to be pregnant and give myself the chance to have biological children. Frankly it's none of your business, I pay for my children and their care unlike many of those people who can get pregnant on drugs and have to be supported by the government.
This story is amazing! I am proud to call that doctor my doctor!
Harvester of Sorrow,
Clearly the fact that someone as stupid as you exists, could only disprove the idea of natural selection. You are making idiotic statements about something you don't even have a basic understanding of. You are the creepy one.
As someone who works in a Evolution lab and especially because it's Darwin Day weekend, I really wish people with no understanding of natural selection wouldn't go and spread their ignorance in it's name. If an organism is able to reproduce in any fashion, then it has a certain level of fitness.
Actually, this case immediately had me thinking about how genes in one organism can help propagate the same genes in a closely related one - i.e. - these sisters are 1/4 related to their niece and nephew, and if this decision doesn't result in loss of future children for them or a decrease in their current children's reproductive success, it's a very good move - gene propagation speaking.
Regardless, these children will have the same chance at being healthy and happy as any other and I think it's a very nice story. As for explaining it to the children - kids are not so easily bothered, just tell them like it is and I'm sure they will understand.
Good luck to them all.
harvester of sarrow... ignorance must be bliss
Natural selection? Really? Isn't that supposed to be natures way of making sure the species survives? Explain to me then: Casey Anthony and other murdering mothers like her, or how about the millions of drug addicts that give birth to babies addicted to various chemicals, or how about the severely mentally ill who can't take care of their children but still have them? I hope natural selection weeds out you.
As for why not adoption? Adoption would be great and far more viable if our government cared more about the kind of parent a child goes to instead of how much money the parent has. Invitro treatment can cost as little as 7 grand, whereas adoption cost more than 50 grand... you do the math.
I have been trying for 10 years to have a baby of my own. Fertility treatments and all. Only last year did we start exploring adoption. I do not have $40,000 in the hopes to adopt a baby. We are trying all avenues but I admire these sisters and hope more people step up to suragacy. I hope to have a child in our lives one day.
VERY well stated!
These women are very lucky to have each other as sisters.
Isn't a shame that certain posters have to add negative comments about what should and should not have been done? Easy to say they should have adopted, but adoption isn't always the be all and end all. I would argue that it is not for us to judge, but the family DID go on national TV to talk about it, LOL.
Exactly! These sisters are what sisters are supposed to be. Gifts to each other.
Very beautiful story that attests to the love between some siblings.
Firstly, I would like to say, the amount of love that these sisters have for each other is truly amazing! The gift they've chosen to give there sister has required great sacrifice on their parts. As someone who has had her sister offer to be a surrogate for her, I know how touched I was and how much that willingness to sacrifice for me to have a child meant to me.
Secondly, I have always wanted to adopt, but since finding out that I most likely won't get pregnant without fertility treatments, I'm not sure how I feel about adoption anymore. Many people will/do call me selfish because I want to have my own biological child(ren) first...I will always question my motives for adopting without having my own child first. I will always ask myself if I chose to adopt because I was desparate to become a parent, or if I chose to adopt because I wanted to, if I would have still chosen to adopt if I had myown child...And that is something I feel no parent should question after the fact and no child deserves to be raised by a parent asking that question. If I have my own child first and then adopt, I will know without a doubt that I chose to adopt because I wanted to.
It really bothers me when people tote the "Just adopt" stance when it comes to infertility. Adoption isn't for everyone. If you're one of the fertles who tote that phrase (or an "infertle") you have no right to pop that off if you've chosen to have/have had biological children before adopting.
Many people are healthy, but are unable to concieve or carry a child to term for whatever reason. I am one of those people that is sickenly healthy, but unable to carry to term without major medical intervention. For those who would say that I should accept my lot, I say that you should walk in my shoes and go through the emotional and physical hell that I survived and struggle to cope with. Then we can have a conversation about feelings.
I wouldn't wish my experiences on anyone and I grieve everyday for some very personal losses. So I am happy for this family and glad that they can support each other when they need it the most. For those who can't understand, please keep your opinions to yourself because your opinions only sound ignorant and hurtful to those who suffer or grieve with a loss of fertility or pregnancy, especially when it is not of their own fault. Everyone has to come to their own terms with these losses and in my experience third-party opinions don't help.
People think adoption is so easy. Its not some waiting list you get put on and, when its your turn, someone throws a baby your way. Birth parents have to pick you. And after waiting years and years just to get chosen, the birthmother can change her mind before or after having the baby. And that happens to people trying to adopt, sometimes more than once or twice. The cheapest adoption process, approximately $15,000, is more expensive than a round of IVF. And when birthmom changes her mind, you usually don't get that money back. Not to mention, some people do want to experience pregnancy. They want to be able to take care of themselves and their unborn baby. You don't have control over how a birthmom takes care of herself and baby when adopting. No one has a right to judge how the next person decides to build their family. Funny how its usually people without any fertility problems who scold infertiles for not adopting all the world's orphans.
This is because women aren't flexible and will only settle for an infant. Very selfish on their part. There are thousands of 3, 5, 7, and 11 year old children who live bleak unfulfilled lives in foster homes, who would give anything to find a loving home. They aren't considered by women who will spend any amount of money and make any kind of sacrifice to adopt a newborn baby. You don't have to pay hardly anything to adopt an older child.
BP - It's not selfish to know what suits you and your family the best. I know a family who takes in foster kids--troubled foster kids. They are really good at it. But not everybody is good at that. Adopting an older child and doing a good job of it is certainly a gift, and more power to those who can do it. But not everybody can be Mother Theresa.
@ BP, you said you could not talk your wife into adopting an older child in an earlier post. Is she selfish, too? Also, what are you altruistic reasons for not liking the baby phase? Have you been altruistic in all endeavors of your life? And, how do you know that women are not flexible? And, yes, you do have to lay out cash at first to adopt in foster care. That money is reimbursed after a successful adoption in foster care, but you don't always get to adopt the child placed with you. In fact, often you do not get to adopt that child b/c the situation changes through the legal system that is really in charge of foster adoptions. Unless you have walked the path, you might not want to be so judgmental. It's often not the lack of willing adoptive parents that is the reason children languish in the system, but a system that is created to re-unite, wait for it, biological families. But, again, if you have a strong heart, a lot of patience, and are willing to enter a world of bureaucracy like none other, then I strongly suggest you follow that path. You seem very passionate about it.
ITs amazing the amount of people who read the article only to leave a stupid comment.
Seeing how i am an infertile woman with an adopted child you ignorant simple people piss me off. why do you feel as if you are the only people entitled to conceive a child! talk about superior thinking. I have a beautiful son adopted from foster care, i have had many foster children and would have adopted all of them. My son is the greatest gift i have ever received however unless you are barren and have walked in my shoes you can never know the pain i feel over wanting to be pregnant, hear its heart beat, feel a baby kick, watch my belly grow,give birth, nurse and cuddle a newborn. pain, real pain that you can never understand ! i am a married hardworking person wanted to adopt i spoke with several places, american newborn, older,disabled, forgien, nothing less then 15k up front out of pocket to get approved and on a waiting list. Not every one has that laying around. Why do i have to pay did you ? then theres the homestudies, the invasion of your privacy to see if your fit to parent. i agree that adoption is a good choice, however if everyone saw all the orphaned children as a concern and not just a infertile couples problem we could solve the innocent childrens needs. Step up as friends, neighbors, sisters, brothers, cousins, parents, dads, aunts and uncles to take an unwanted, or fostered child. Every foster child in America has family who were offered to take the child before strangers . Stop turning your back on them. There would be less orphans and less ignorant narrow minded asses in the world that think biological children are for them only. Sick ignorant simpletons who think the children would be confused, the freakin children would be loved, known they were wanted and feel love of an extended family ! how many of your children know they were planned or do they know they were an unfortunate accident you got stuck with !!!!!!!!
Indeed!
What an amazingly beautiful gift from the sisters to the sister! And unselfish too.
While adoption is wonderful, if a white couple wishes to avoid cultural and racial issues, white babies available for adoption are few and far between. Many of them who are available present the possible problem of birth parents later getting rights (I mean, suppose the dad is in jail, and gets out when your adopted kid is 14 and he wants to get involved in his birth child's - and your - life?).
And the scrutiny one undergoes to adopt, while certainly necessary, is very lengthy and nerve-wracking. In addition, many kids who are available often have some sort of physical problem or developmental problem.
I have been lucky, two healthy kids easily conceived and carried....but I cannot judge those who have adopted from overseas or have used medical intervention and/or surrogates in order to have the joy of parenthood.
What a wonderful gift these sister have given to each other. God bless the whole family. Love does indeed make a family and these babies will grow up knowing how deeply they were wanted and planned for.
As an adoptive parent I can personally attest to the joy my daughter has brought us since the day she entered our lives at three days old. Being infertile is one of the most difficult emotional roller coasters a woman and her partner can experience and the choice of how to fulfill the dream of parenthood is very personal. Adopting an older child can be a challenge. Children who are placed for adoption at an older age (even at only 2 or 3 years) many times come with lots of baggage. They are not always coming from the best of circumstances. Many times there has been emotional, sexual or physical abuse. Not everyone is prepared or can handle the issues that could arise. What a wonderful thing these sisters are doing. That is what family is about!
I just came home about an hour ago. Bone tired and in some pain. Started reading this article and once again my faith in the inherent goodness of people is reaffirmed! Way to go!
Tomorrow is already looking better..........
I am curious to know just who paid for these procedures??? My wife and I investigated using the "test tube" procedure to make a baby and the cost was over $30,000.00 for one attempt. Our BCBS insurance would not cover it.
Riley, do you homework. IVF, or "test tube," is between $8k and $12k. It is likely that this couple paid about $20k for both the other sisters to do IVF. The couple will be legally required to pay for the expenses of the sisters and hospital bills. Most states include surrogacy in adoption contract law which requires an insurance company to pay normal birthing expenses less copays and deductibles. Also, remember that if your medical expenses are higher than 7.5% in a year, you can use that as a deduction on federal taxes.
IVF costs a fortune. We purchased an "outcome based plan" from The Sher Institutes at the end of 2010 which allows you to have up to three IVF cycles and get money back if you don't use all three, or even if you do, and don't get pregnant. We used two of the three cycles and then were told that our donor was not a good donor. We were entitled to a $10,964 refund because we only used 2 of the three cycles. The Sher Instituute now says that there is a loophole in the contract and they will not refund our money even though we did not achieve pregnancy and we only used two of the three cycles. It seems to me that the entire spirit of this contract is to protect us from spending all of this money AND not getting a baby, and here they are going to keep the money AND we have no baby. BEWARE and make sure this does not happen to you!