Wake up, folks: There is no health risk in rousing a sleepwalker from their somnambulistic stroll. Well, no risk to them, anyway. You, on the other hand, might suffer a swift, roundhouse kick to the dome.

Long-repeated medical myths have held that if you forcibly snap a sleepwalker back to a wakeful state it will A) induce a state of shock or possibly even insanity, B) give them “lockjaw,” and, C), our personal favorite, cause their soul to become trapped outside their body. The truth matters now more than ever: On Monday, the Stanford University School of Medicine released new research estimating that 8.5 million U.S. adults (3.6 percent of the grownup population) went sleepwalking during the past year -- a far higher rate of nocturnal wanderers than previously thought by doctors. 

“It’s not dangerous for the sleepwalker to wake him up,” said Dr. Mark R. Pressman, a psychologist and sleep specialist at Lankenau Hospital in Wynnewood, Pa. “You’re not going to do them any harm.”

But there are two potential pitfalls in attempting to yank them back to the conscious world. First, sleepwalkers take their short journeys with eyes open yet without turning on a key part of their brain -- the frontal lobe, a portion that controls social interaction. They are momentarily trapped in an altered, gray state that falls between alertness and full sleep, making them quite difficult to bring back to the real world, Pressman said.

“You just can’t talk to them and say ‘Hey!” and have them wake up,” Pressman said. “I’m not even sure where that myth began that you shouldn’t wake them. But the more you dig back (to try research that legend), the more you’ll find that sleepwalking once was thought to be mixed in with spirits and demonic possessions.”

Most sleepwalking episodes last only seconds or a few minutes, ending with the person either sitting or lying on the floor and returning sleep or eventually trudging back to bed.

“It’s very likely to go away on its own while the family is watching,” Pressman said.

You can try to verbally redirect a sleepwalker -- especially a child -- by standing a short distance away and speaking to them in short, easy commands: “Stop, turn around, go back to bed.” But don’t expect them to answer or even to recognize you, Pressman said. Those particular neurons are still snoozing. “Hopefully they turn around and go the other way.

“There’s really no reason to dive in and stop it unless the sleepwalker is about to climb out a window or fall down some stairs. If that’s the case, the family member doesn’t really have much choice,” he added.

If you do approach a sleepwalker -- especially if you physically block or grab one -- they may flash some "defensive aggressiveness,” Pressman said. “This is a very primitive response to what they see as a potential attacker. They may become violent.

“The first thing, obviously, is you have to protect them anyway you can. That’s the bottom line: safety. So you may have to be prepared to take a punch or kick.”

Just don’t expect your zombified loved one or housemate to offer an apology. 

Related:

• Sleepwalking more rampant than thought, study shows
• Suicide while sleepwalking is a real nightmare
• Why do our eyelids get heavy when we're sleepy?

From bad breakups to bathroom updates to the amount of bacon your best friend can eat in a single sitting, we've all grown used to oversharers spilling their guts both online and off.

"I share pretty much everything," says Laura Keesee, a 25-year-old public relations account coordinator from Orlando, Fla. "From my random ADD thoughts to when some food has upset my stomach to details about my relationship. I think oversharing is part of my personality."

It's also intrinsically rewarding, according to new research out of Harvard University that used fMRI scans to show how our brains react to sharing information about ourselves with others.

"The Internet has drastically expanded the number of mediums through which we can talk about ourselves to other people," says Diana Tamir, a graduate student in the Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Lab at Harvard and lead author of a study published today in the journal PNAS. "We were interested in why people engage in self-disclosure so seemingly excessively. The hypothesis we wanted to test was whether or not this behavior provided people with intrinsic or subjective value -- did it feel good to do it."

As it turns out, it feels so good, our brains responds to self-disclosure the same way they respond to pleasure triggers like food, money or sex.

Tamir and her colleagues conducted five studies involving nearly 300 people, most of them from the Harvard and Cambridge community. In some studies, participants were asked to disclose their own opinions while being scanned using fMRI, or functional magnetic resonance imaging, a technique that directly measures the blood flow in the brain, thereby providing information on brain activity.

In others, participants were asked to complete certain behavioral tasks in exchange for varying amounts of money. Study subjects, as it turns out, were willing to go without 17 to 25 percent of their potential earnings if they could reveal info about themselves to others.

"We called this the 'penny for your thoughts study,'" says Tamir. "We wanted to know if people would pay money to engage in this behavior -- to share information about themselves with other people -- and it turns out they will."

Brain scans of participants revealed even more about the rewards of self-disclosure.

"When you look at the neural regions generally associated with rewards like money or sex or food, those same regions seemed to respond more robustly when people were engaging in self disclosure than when they were not," says Tamir. "From the evidence we see, there are a couple of different metrics of value -- both monetary and neural -- that show that self-disclosure is subjectively rewarding to people. It's valuable. It goes towards explaining why people do it so often."

Lawrence Winnerman, a 42-year-old project manager from Seattle, says he definitely finds oversharing rewarding.

"If I post something on Facebook or say something that I think is going to be really funny and also particularly revealing about myself, I'm looking for a reaction and a laugh," he says. "And I get really disappointed if I don't get one. I know I'm absolutely doing it for the value of the rewards."

According to Tamir, both shy and TMI types feel rewarded when they can talk about themselves.

"You might think that gregarious people are more highly rewarded but shy people also like to share their thoughts," she says. "My hunch is that everybody can find some kind of value reward in having an audience or a sympathetic ear, regardless whether you do that behavior a lot or a little. It provides you with some sort of reward."

Unfortunately, oversharing can also provide the occasional admonition. 

"My new boyfriend posted a picture of me on Facebook in a Viking helmet that was taken in a sex shop," says Winnerman, who also posted on the social networking site that he and his beau were at the shop to buy, ah, supplies. "I thought it was funny even knowing my mother would read it."

Her response?

"She immediately posted, 'TMI,'" he says.

Related:

• Beware the overshare in everyday conversation
• Should we call it quits? A new kind of couples counseling
• Trying on swimsuits really is the worst, study confirms

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Many unhappily married couples turn to marriage counselors to help them improve their relationship. Now a new type of couples therapy helps them figure out whether the best solution is to call it quits.

"We basically only see people where divorce is on the table," says Bill Doherty, a professor in the family social science department at the University of Minnesota, who was recently featured in a Wall Street Journal story about a new therapy called discernment counseling.

Unlike traditional marriage counseling, in which couples try to work through their marital problems, discernment counseling aims to help struggling couples decide whether to "improve the marriage or let it go," Doherty says.

According to Doherty, who developed the innovative therapy for the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project, many marriage counselors discover during the first session that divorce is already being discussed.

"Around 30 percent of the couples coming into marriage counseling are mixed agenda couples," he says. "Divorce is on the table for one of the parties. Traditional marriage counseling has no way to deal with those people. It's been area of frustration for a lot of marriage counselors."

Joe Guppy, a couples counselor from Seattle, says this has definitely been his experience.

"Couples counselors have been aware for decades of the need to discern whether the couple has come in to stay together or to break up," he says. "Oftentimes, one of the couple knows he or she wants to leave, hasn't told the partner and is essentially bringing the counselor on board to help soften the blow."

Doherty refers to these spouses as "leaning out," while those who want to stay in the marriage are "leaning in."

"The name discernment counseling is important because sometimes the person who is leaning out will run the clock out on marriage counseling," he says. "They'll show up, but won't really try, then will pronounce that marriage counseling didn't work. What I say is, 'We don't know if marriage counseling will work. We haven't tried it yet. We're deciding whether or not to do it.'"

What makes discernment counseling different?

Aside from slapping out the D-word for all to discuss, the practice incorporates both individual and couples counseling.

"They both come in and there's a check-in [with a counselor], then you meet for part of the session with one [spouse] and part of the session with the other," says Doherty. "Then there's a check-out, where you meet with both and summarize what each is taking out with them. Marriage counseling is primarily both people in the room at the same time, working on their problems together."

Couples meet with a discernment counselor up to five times, but can stop whenever they want. During the first session, the counselor will talk to both about what's been good (and bad) about the marriage and will ask what they've done to iron out their difficulties. The counselor will also lay out three paths -- staying in the marriage as is, moving toward a divorce, or trying a six-month-long reconciliation path in which they work on the marriage via traditional couples therapy.

So far, Doherty and his colleagues have worked with 50 couples and are currently training additional counselors in the practice. While no data is available yet on whether discernment counseling is more effective than traditional counseling with regard to keeping a couple together (traditional marriage counseling has a success rate of 70 to 80 percent), Doherty says the response from marriage counselors has been overwhelming.

"They have not had any specific tools or protocols to deal with the mixed agenda couple," he says. "Over time, we have to evaluate and study it and it may be that better tools will come along. But there's been a big gap in the field."

Annie Lareau, a 43-year-old arts administrator from Seattle who divorced after several years of couples therapy, says she thinks discernment counseling sounds like a promising idea.

"I think it's a more realistic approach," she says. "It would be horrible if you went to a counselor, trying to save [your marriage] and then when it ended, you had no support. There's so much to work out as a couple in terms of your future, especially if you have children. Counseling allows you to move on faster."

Working with both parties individually helps ease what can be a traumatic process, says Doherty, especially in cases where one partner is left shell-shocked, bitter and angry by their spouse's desire to leave.

"We work with the leaning out person separately, helping them not do further damage to the marriage," he says. "And we help the leaning in person, too. A lot of times when the decision's been sprung on somebody, they complain and scold and call the relatives and tell the kids, 'Mommy's trying to throw me out of the house.' We help the leaning in spouse bring their best game to this crisis, as opposed to that desperate game you bring when you get that message."

Mainly, discernment counseling helps the couple truly think through what can be a life-altering decision.

"It's almost always a good idea to slow it down and look at the marriage from five different angles, including what your own role in it was," says Doherty. "You can't divorce yourself. If people end a marriage without looking at their own contributions to the problems, they are leaving with a big blind spot. And the divorce rate in second marriages is even higher than first marriages."

Related:

• Sex or generosity? What counts most in marriage
• Poll: How do you handle conflicts in your marriage?
• Video: Sex quiz! Will exercise raise your libido?

Have your healthiest summer yet! Ease into the dreaded "swimsuit season" with healthy tips from TODAY experts. All throughout May, we'll offer smart do-it-yourself ways to look, eat and feel better. So stop stressing about that swimsuit, and read on.

Robert Daly / Getty Images/OJO Images

Choose a buddy with similar goals so you can really support each other rather than sabotage each other.

Perhaps the biggest impediment to taking off weight or getting into shape isn't all the pounds you want to lose or all the healthy meals you'll need to cook and eat to lose them. The biggest hurdle might actually be your mind-set.

Most people end up feeling that the task is so big, the road so unpleasant and the outcome so doomed that they never really get started. That's why approaching your goal in a certain thoughtful way, where you basically “outsmart yourself,” can make a world of difference. Big goals can seem overwhelming and, therefore, easy to quit. Goals which require you to completely change your way of doing everything take too much effort to keep up day in and day out. And being completely alone in the task makes it too easy to cheat.

So with those issues in mind, here are some helpful ways to organize yourself psychologically to maximize the likelihood you’ll persevere.

1. Break down goals into bite sized pieces. Rather than saying to yourself, "I am going to lose 20 pounds for the summer," make a weekly goal. For example, "I am going to lose one to two pounds a week" is a completely reasonable, healthy and psychologically manageable idea. In addition, after losing the first pounds you will get the positive feedback of knowing you can complete your goal, which will inspire you for the following week. It's rather like a snowball gathering size as it rolls down the hill; in your mind you will gather speed as you complete manageable tasks.

2. Know thyself. Deciding you are going to run every day when you have always hated running is not going to happen. You have to know what you like -- and what you don’t -- and choose a plan that has as many methods incorporating what you like into it. Pick an exercise and dieting method you can like (or like enough). Find non-food treats to offer yourself as rewards: a new song from iTunes, a bubblebath with incense. If you are a meat lover, go with a high-protein style of diet; if you’re a veggie guy or girl then use veggies as a method of reducing, as opposed with going with whatever new fad your friend likes. If you love sweets the most, get some diet-friendly sweets to have and have them, or you will fall off the wagon fast.

3. Let others help. It is so easy to cheat alone -- not so easy when you have a partner or buddy in it with you, both watching you for cheating and encouraging you to cross the finish line. Choose a buddy with similar goals so you can really support each other rather than sabotage each other. Make dates to be active together and eat together, and then each of you stand strong for the other. There is pleasure in a shared experience, even one as tough as dieting. When you feel big brother is watching, you tend to hold yourself to a higher standard.

Also by Dr. Gail Saltz:

• Your partner's annoying habits: How to deal
• Eat a sandwich, Angie: Skinny shaming isn't helpful, either

Dr. Gail Saltz is a New York City psychiatrist and regular TODAY contributor.

We all have annoying habits, which, curiously, we don’t find annoying in ourselves. But when they come from someone living with you, such habits can definitely get on your nerves. The trouble begins when you enter a vicious cycle of resentment -- when you're fed up with your partner's irritating habits, or you're tired of getting picked on for your own.

Nagging, disdain and contempt can all end relationships. That annoying habit may appear to be the source, but it’s not the habit that is the problem; it’s how you deal with it. 

Here are some typical categories of annoying habits:

Bodily quirks: This includes non-clandestine nose picking, passing gas, burping, picking teeth and anytime when one releases things from orifices that no one else wants to smell, witness or be around. Of course everyone must do so at times, but how about in the bathroom or other private place? Explain to your partner you are inclined to feel more sexually attracted to them when not subjected to foul odors and the like. If you did this in front of him (it usually is the guy, sorry) he would not really like it or find it sexually alluring. Request he do it in private.

Selective listening: You are trying to talk and he or she is tuned out, staring at the TV, computer or phone. Agree upon a benign code word (like "banana") for when you really would like full attention. It lets your partner know that paying attention now is important to you, which avoids the mystery of when to be fully attentive.

Being a slob: Dishes, clothes, shoes, mud -- who, exactly, is supposed to clean that up? You think it’s you, but your partner may just be fine with the mess, planning to get to it later. A discussion of who will be cleaning the mess (and exactly how much later) will help. Sometimes messiness is about relaxing in the moment; if so, ask for a time when he or she will return to the scene of the crime, and then make sure you do leave the things for the return. You will likely see fewer things strewn around.

Bad manners: Scratching his back with a fork, leaving the toilet seat up, rearranging private parts in public -- things that never happened early on in the relationship are now a daily affair that makes you feel like you married a Neanderthal. But for him (or her!), being able to relax and not feel like he married Emily Post is important. The solution lies somewhere in the middle, a relaxed state of getting to be yourself, with a dose of courtesy for your partner. Have a conversation about what constitutes reasonable manners to both of you. You may have different standards because you grew up in different homes. The things that are most egregious to the other are things you should step away and do in private. The “note reminder” technique helps for some. So a Post-It on the toilet for two weeks that says "Please put down the seat” can help to change a long-time habit.

Control freaks: Monopolizing the remote control, ruling what happens in the kitchen, always picking what movies you two watch. Relationships inevitably have some power struggles, and they can play out in the form of annoying habits that look innocent, but are really about being in control. If the remote control is bugging you, ask yourself, where does that partner get to have some control? If the answer is nowhere, maybe you should let them have it here -- after all, it's pretty innocuous. But if the remote is just one of many examples of robbing you of a say, then it’s time to discuss the inequity of power. Address what is underneath a seemingly meaningless habit to find the real meaning, which is about learning to share the power.

Constant nagging about annoying habits can actually destroy a marriage so pick your battles, you can’t win them all. Think about what really matters and why. Do not nag; instead, devise a system to address the specifics. 

Overall, consider these steps for dealing with annoying habits:

Awareness: Sometimes you don’t say what exactly annoys you, and the other person just finds you grumpy and critical. So be specific: “I think you are fab, but when I hear you biting your nails its grates on me. I know it’s a hard habit to stop, but could you try?”

Prioritize: You can’t remake your partner, so only ask about one thing. Pick your battle wisely.

Make a “habit trade”: You have bad habits too; we all do. So ask which habit he’d like you to quit and you can make a trade of it --  each of you working on one thing for the other.

Emphasize the positive: You did not notice these habits when you first fell in love because love gives your partner “the halo effect." So each day for a week, write down three things you love about your partner, or admire in your partner, or think is hot about your partner, or why you fell in love. Putting on your rose-colored glasses will make those annoying habits seem far less annoying.

Also by Dr. Gail Saltz:

'Eat a sandwich, Angie!' Skinny shaming isn't helpful, either

Dr. Gail Saltz is a New York City psychiatrist and regular TODAY contributor.

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By Paige Greenfield
Men's Health

You know you should take a few deep breaths when you feel stressed. Instead you inhale a doughnut (or five). Strange? Not at all. Your strained brain craves instant gratification, often in the form of a quick fix like food or alcohol, says James Herman, Ph.D., a neuroscientist at the University of Cincinnati. "These things activate reward pathways while quieting the amygdala, the emotional, overwrought area of your brain."

The trouble with the Krispy Kreme cure, besides the inevitable risk of obesity and the powdered sugar on your neckties, is that it's really just a stress Band-Aid. In the long term you may feel more mentally steamrolled than ever. And when your psyche suffers, so does your body. In fact, in a new Oregon State University study, researchers found that chronically stressed middle-aged men were almost 50 percent more likely to die during an 18-year period than those who experienced fewer stressful events. Which of these guys do you want to be?

Good choice. Now follow this plan for replacing your current so-called coping strategies with techniques that'll feel like a shiatsu massage for your mind.

5 Hidden Causes of Stress

How you cope: Down a dessert
There's a reason you equate sugar with serenity. When you consume the sweet stuff, your prefrontal cortex, a part of your brain that helps control emotions, is activated, says Herman. The danger of a sugar binge: Men with higher anxiety are also more likely to have elevated glucose levels, according to scientists in Japan. In fact, the American Diabetes Association warns that long-term stress may push your blood-sugar levels into the diabetic range if they're already higher than normal.

Do this instead: Savor a small portion of ice cream
The stress-busting benefits of dessert are due more to the flavor than the fat and calories, says Herman. "High-calorie foods often taste better, but calories aren't necessary for food's effects on stress." Buy a single-serve treat and take half an hour to eat it; savoring the flavor can extend the calming effect.

14 Worst Desserts in America

How you cope: Pour a drink
After a few shots of Jack, the office jackass is the last person on your mind. When alcohol enters your bloodstream, it seems to activate reward pathways for temporary relief. Ultimately, though, it may intensify your depression, says William Pollack, Ph.D., a Men's Health mental health advisor. In a University of Chicago study, stressed-out men injected with alcohol felt anxious longer than guys in a placebo group. Booze may disrupt your body's calming process, prolonging the mental misery.

Do this instead: Self-medicate with music
A study in Nature Neuroscience found that listening to favorite tunes or anticipating a certain point in a song can cause a pleasurable flood of dopamine. Listen to a few songs in a row several times a day. "These doses of dopamine can lower your stress, removing the trigger that causes you to seek alcohol," says Edward Roth, M.T.-B.C., a professor of music therapy at Western Michigan University.

How Music Fights Depression

How you cope: Play Call of Duty all night
The lure of a record-breaking kill/death ratio isn't the only thing keeping you up till 3 a.m. Stanford researchers found that playing video games stimulates the brain's mesocorticolimbic system, a key reward region. And the more you win, the more the area lights up. The downside: Most video games are sedentary and mimic the competitiveness of a stressful job, which may negate any brain benefits, says Michael Addis, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Clark University.

Do this instead: Build a fence
Learn to braise meat. Practice the ukulele. Activities that give you a sense of mastery can also activate the mesocorticolimbic system, deploying a rush of dopamine. Plus, as you practice your new skill, you enter a healthy psychological state known as flow. "You lose track of time and are completely immersed in what you're doing," says Addis. "It's incredibly relaxing to the mind."

How to do Everything Better

How you cope: Drive too fast
Why do guys love Vegas? Or consider cliff jumping a worthy pastime? The same reason they speed: Risk taking produces a surge of endorphins, which numb pain, says Cleveland Clinic psychologist Michael McKee, Ph.D. But if you chase those thrills while you're stressed, they could kill you. Your judgment tends to become clouded, so it's harder to take calculated risks, explains Addis. "You're more likely to put yourself in unnecessary danger."

Do this instead: Hightail it to the gym
But don't default to your regular workout. If you're bored with your routine, you may not experience the normal post-gym endorphin rush, making exercise less effective as a stress fighter than it could be, says Addis. So try something new: Sign up for a martial arts class, check out an indoor rock-climbing center, or go mountain biking. These activities combine physical exertion with a bit of benign risk taking.

The Best Workouts to Relieve Stress

How you cope: Bury yourself in work
It's tempting to battle the stress of a massive workload by immersing yourself until it's done. Don't do it. "Concentration and productivity suffer when your brain doesn't have a chance to unwind, relax, and reset," says McKee. And your work performance may not be the only thing to suffer. In a new British study, people who worked 11 or more hours a day were nearly 70 percent more likely to develop heart disease over a 12-year period than those who worked 7-to 8-hour days.

Do this instead: Take a 60-second vacation
Each hour, spend a minute perusing a funny blog. (We like passiveaggressive notes.com.) Periodic breaks help you process and absorb new information, increasing your efficiency, says McKee. During your hiatus, take 10-second breaths, inhale 4 seconds, exhale 6, to bolster your heart's ability to recover from stress.

10 Ways to Beat Stress at Work

How you cope: Hibernate in your cave
If stress makes you want to retreat and hole up at home, here's why: Research shows that men generally favor the fight-or-flight stress response, whereas women are more likely to "tend and befriend" when they feel stressed. Which way is better? A 2009 British study linked social isolation with a more prolonged spike in heart-straining systolic blood pressure after a stressful event, and higher stress-hormone output throughout the day.

Do this instead: Watch the game with your buddies
And don't spend halftime bitching about your boss. Venting can actually be counterproductive; with men, it often turns into a stress-inducing "who has it worse" showdown, says Addis. Besides, the social aspect alone is enough to activate your brain's GABA receptors, which control fear and anxiety, in turn triggering feelings of calm and satisfaction, says Pollack.

More Links:
19 Ways to Live a Stress-Free Life
100 Ways to Protect Your Heart
7 Pains You Should Never Ignore
The Best Game-Day Recipes

By Leslie Meredith
TechNewsDaily

"Do I look fat?" The answer is a resounding yes if you're on Facebook. But it's not your friends telling you, it's yourself. 

Facebook is fueling our thin-obsessed culture, says a new study from the Center for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt in Maryland that surveyed 600 Facebook users, ages 16 to 40. More than half said that Facebook  makes them more self-conscious about their bodies and weight. And men were some of those with the most negative feelings.

While more women than men admitted they'd like to lose some weight, 75 percent compared to 58 percent, men were far more vocal about their dissatisfaction. Forty percent of men said they've posted negative comments about their bodies, while only half that number of women had done so.

"People are now constantly aware of their appearance, thanks to Facebook," Steven Crawford, associate director at the center, told TechNewsDaily. "A common reaction is, 'I need to be thinner' And it's that kind of thinking that can lead to hazardous dieting."

"Facebook is an influential factor in developing severe eating disorders," Crawford said.

When you're unhappy with the way you look, it's easy to avoid mirrors. But it's becoming pretty tough to go without Facebook. Eight percent of those surveyed log onto Facebook at least once a day. It's impossible to avoid seeing photos of yourself and your friends. But we're not just looking — we're comparing.

Timeline  — Facebook's new profile format — makes it easy. With a click you can see what you looked like five years ago, and the comparison can be depressing. Nearly a third of people felt "sad" when comparing photos of themselves and their friends, and 44 percent wished they had the same body or weight as a friend on Facebook.

Facebook photo  comparisons are also affecting the social lives of Facebook users. Like celebrities who worry about the paparazzi, Facebook users are concerned every time they go out that their photo will show up on the network.

"Facebook is fueling a "camera-ready" mentality," Crawford said. "People look at photos before an upcoming high school reunion and decide not to go." Why? Because they think they don't look good enough.

The center has tips for people suffering from Facebook-induced body envy, including subscribing to Facebook pages such as "Adios Barbie" and "End Fat Talk." But if you can't stop making negative comparisons between yourself and others, log off.

More from TechNewsDaily:

• Men Are from Detroit, Women Are from Dairy Queen, Study Says
• Women More Wary Than Men on Facebook
• Why Facebook Doesn't Help Boost Low Self-Esteem

More from TODAY Health:

• Eat This, Not That: 4 pointless supermarket foods
• Calling yourself fat increases depression risk
• When Facebook triggers an asthma attack

She wasn't nominated for any awards last Sunday, but Angelina Jolie has dominated the conversation this post-Oscars week, thanks to both the insta-meme inspired by her right leg -- and what some considered her surprisingly skinny appearance. 

Mario Anzuoni / Reuters

Fox News' Bill O'Reilly said Angie looked "emaciated" during her appearance at Sunday's Oscars ceremony.

Only the meanest mean girl -- or Karl Lagerfeld -- would publicly call someone "too fat." So why do even the kind-hearted among us feel like it's OK to trash someone for being "too skinny"? 

In our culture, calling someone "too skinny" is almost like calling someone "too pretty" -- it can seem like a twisted compliment. People may believe that a woman is skinny because she worked hard to get that way -- as opposed to a woman who is heavier, who might be perceived as someone who would love to weigh less, but hasn't been as successful at dieting. So, we feel for the overweight woman, but not for the overly thin one.

Bill O'Reilly calls Angelina Jolie 'emaciated'

Some people might even be envying the thin one if they are struggling to get their own weight down -- saying she is “too” thin is a way of jealously putting her down. 

The truth is, for some, being underweight can be just as distressing as being overweight. There are women who legitimately have trouble keeping weight on and don’t like it -- not to mention, it is also unhealthy. Many women reading this will be saying, “Oh, sure, I’d like to have that problem!”

But the fact is, you wouldn't: It's upsetting and very difficult for women who may be struggling with an eating disorder, depression or illness. And they are often unhappy with their bodies and worried about their health. (Of course, others just might be naturally skinny.) 

Honorary Oscar for Jolie's right leg?

Skinny-shaming, calling someone -- celebrity or otherwise -- "emaciated" or "stick thin," or telling the person to "eat a sandwich," as the cliché goes, is as unhelpful as fat-shaming. It is our skewed view as a society obsessed with being thin that left us open to commenting on Jolie, forgetting that any extreme in appearance can be a difficult and painful place to be (just ask any adolescent).

A loving discussion from someone known and involved can be a life-saver, whether you are too thin or too overweight. If you notice your friend is seeming to shrink before your eyes, you could try saying something like, “I've noticed you're looking quite a bit thinner recently, and as your friend, I just wanted to check in. If something's wrong, please know I'm here to help you.”

But comments from the public at large should avoided -- or, at the very least, used to empathically understand a real issue that may be going on for many women.

Have you ever been told you were "too skinny"? Talk about your experiences with this issue on our Facebook page.

Read the latest from TODAY Health:

• How to be sexy (and know it) at any age
• Not tonight, dear: Sex problems linked to headaches
• Could Ambien increase your risk of death?

Dr. Gail Saltz is a New York City psychiatrist and regular TODAY contributor.

It's only Tuesday, and yet the manic pace of this two-day-old week is already about to make you collapse. If you're seeking de-stressing strategies, you're in luck -- yoga instructor Wendy Rubin and TODAY's diet and nutrition expert Joy Bauer revealed the best poses to do and food to eat to keep yourself calm. 

As Rubin puts it, stress isn't something that happens to you -- it's the absence of calm in your life. These poses are designed to relieve muscle tension, quiet the mind and calm the body. They can each be done at home using pillows and blankets you have lying around the house.

Stress-busting yoga poses from Wendy Rubin:

1. Bridge pose

Lie down with your back on the floor. Bend your knees and walk your heels in so your knees are directly above your ankles. Press the inner edges of the feet and arms actively into the floor as you lift your pelvis up towards the ceiling. Now place the block directly under your sacrum. Stay in this pose for 30 seconds to 1 minute as you take deep cleansing breaths.

Benefits: Relieves tension in the lower back. Excellent pose for treating headaches, insomnia and fatigue.

2. Child's pose

Kneel on the floor behind a large pillow. Open your knees so you can slide the bolster between your legs. Gently rest your torso down on the bolster while you hug the pillow with both hands. Gaze to one side. Stay in pose for 1 to 5 minutes.

Benefits: Relieves back and neck tension. Recommended for dizziness and fatigue.

3. Alternate nostril breath

Sit in a comfortable position on the floor. Gently close your right nostril with your thumb and inhale through your left nostril. Now close your left nostril with your ring finger and exhale through your right nostril. Keep the right nostril open, inhale, then close it with your thumb, and exhale through the left. This is one cycle. Repeat 3 to 5 times.

Benefits: Perfect relaxation tool! Lowers the heart rate and calms an over-stimulated nervous system.

But incorporating these calming yoga poses doesn't excuse unhealthy eating. What we eat has an enormous effect on our stress levels -- luckily, adding these delicious items into your daily diet can help soothe stress and elevate your mood naturally, Bauer explains.

De-stressing foods from Joy Bauer: 

1. Steel-cut oats. 

 A warm and cozy bowl of oatmeal makes the perfect comfort food breakfast on a chilly winter's day. But the soothing effects are more than psychological. Oats are a healthy, whole-grain source of carbohydrates, which stimulate production of serotonin, a feel-good hormone that helps you relax. All varieties of oats are great, but I particularly love the steel-cut type because they're minimally processed and cause a slow, steady rise in blood sugar, which also helps regulate mood.

You'll love my technique for Slow Cooker Steel-Cut Oats-you start them the night before and they're ready and waiting for you the next morning! (Combine 1 cup dry steel-cut oats and 4 cups water in a slow cooker and cook for 8-9 hours on low setting.)

2. Grapefruit. 

Swapping your apple or banana for a juicy, sweet grapefruit may help you chill out. This everyday citrus fruit is a top source of vitamin C, a nutrient that may help people better cope with bad nerves.

German researchers reported that students who took vitamin C supplements for two weeks showed fewer signs of stress-including lower blood pressure-in response to a nerve-wracking task (public speaking combined with a math test!) than those who didn't take the vitamin. But I don't advise adding a supplement-instead, you can soothe away worries naturally by eating more vitamin C-rich produce.

3. Wild salmon and chickpea salad. 

This salmon combines two foods that can help ease anxiety and elevate mood naturally. Salmon is one of the best sources of omega-3s-and studies have found that fortifying your diet with omega-3s from fish oil decreases levels of adrenaline and other hormones associated with anxiety during stressful experiences like test-taking.

A one-cup serving of chickpeas provides more than 70% of the daily recommended intake for folate, a B vitamin that helps regulate mood. Low blood levels of folate have been repeatedly linked to higher risk for depressive symptoms.

Wild Salmon & Chickpea Salad Recipe

1 can (6 ounces) wild salmon, well-drained (remove skin)

1 can (19 ounces) chickpeas (garbanzo beans), rinsed and drained

1/2 cup chopped red onion

1/2 red bell pepper, chopped

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

In a medium bowl, mash the salmon. Mix in the chickpeas, onion, and red pepper. In a separate bowl, whisk together the oil and vinegar. Pour the dressing over the salmon mixture and stir thoroughly. Cover and refrigerate up to 2 days.

4. Chamomile tea

Nursing a mug of naturally caffeine-free chamomile tea is the perfect way to wipe away the worries of the day. This calming brew appears to act as a mild sedative and may help relieve muscle tension and ease anxiety and irritability. Take advantage of this tried-and-true herbal remedy by making chamomile tea part of your evening ritual.

5. Dark chocolate hot cocoa.

To really get your zen on, sip on a mug of my Dark Chocolate Hot Cocoa at the end of a long, tense day. It combines two ingredients with stress-relieving properties-dark chocolate and skim milk-in one deliciously rich drink. Peptides found in milk may help ease anxiety and boost mood by lowering blood pressure and increasing serotonin activity in the brain. And one study found that consuming 1.4 ounces of dark chocolate per day reduced levels of certain stress hormones in individuals with high anxiety levels.

Dark Chocolate Hot Cocoa Recipe

3 cups skim milk

2 tablespoon granulated sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 pinch kosher salt

1/4 cup dark chocolate chips (or chopped chocolate bar)

Whipped cream & dark chocolate shavings (for garnish)

Heat the milk in a small saucepan over medium-high heat until the milk is hot and starting to steam. Remove the saucepan from the heat. Whisk in the sugar, vanilla, salt and chocolate chips, and continue to whisk until the chocolate is completely melted. Pour the hot cocoa into three mugs. Top each mug with a squirt of whipped cream and dark chocolate shavings if desired. (Makes 3 servings.)

What's your favorite way to de-stress?

It's infuriating when it happens in a meeting: You know you have a unique take on the problem at hand, but when a colleague shows off a pair of particularly smarty pants -- well, it's hard to get the guts to voice your dumb old opinion. 

But here's a bit of encouraging news: Those insecurities are probably all in your head, and that's especially true if you're a woman. 

The social dynamics of a group setting can actually lower the IQ scores of some people, according to a recent study led by scientists at the Virginia Tech Carilion Research Institute. The researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, to spy on the brains of people working in small groups. 

They tested the volunteers' IQ to get a baseline figure, then (cruelly) shared those scores with the group. Now everyone in those little groups knew where they stood, intelligence-wise -- and knowing their rank was enough to shake the confidence of some group members, particularly among the women. The participants were again given an IQ test, and even though initially all the subjects scored above average, the second test showed a much wider range of scores.

Researchers then divided the study subjects up into two groups based on their second IQ test to perform a series of tasks: the smarties with the higher scores versus the relative dunces with the lower scores. Of the 13 women who participated in the study, just three of them ended up in the higher-scoring group -- the rest landed with the dunces. 

"The way we organize our business is completely built around small groups," Read Montague, co-author of the study and director of the Human Neuroimaging Laboratory and Computational Psychiatry Unit at the Virginia Tech Carilion Research Institute, told TODAY.

"We used to think that ranking the group and rating the group provides a measure -- how are you performing in your job -- but in fact maybe in some settings that damages the performance of the group in ways you don't want to damage it."

Remember, this divide only happened after everyone discovered how they ranked in intelligence as compared to the rest of the group. One theory: Women might be more sensitive to social cues, and more likely to worry about the perceptions of others -- which might mean, in the real world, some great ideas aren't being shared. 

But on the bright side, as one woman told TODAY producers in an earlier interview, that sensitivity could also be considered a strength. "Let's use that to our advantage," said Joanna Stone Herman. "And let's actually be stronger and communicate better, because we know that we are picking up on these cues better, and we may be able to be that much more impactful."

This morning on TODAY, Ann Curry chatted with psychologist Jennifer Hartstein and Ivanka Trump, executive vice president of development and acquisitions for the Trump organization, about the study's implications. Hartstein offered some practical advice for anyone -- man or woman -- who often feels shy or tongue-tied in meetings. 

"Maybe you need to practice what it is you want to say to someone," Hartstein suggests. "Or maybe you need to go to your manager before and say, 'Hey, I have a lot of things I want to bring to the table today. Can you make sure you put me on the agenda?' Or maybe managers even need to start to think about it differently and say, 'Everybody’s going to have a chance to say something in the meeting today, so be prepared, be ready.'"

What strategies or mantras have you turned to in order to find the courage to pipe up in an intimidating setting? Share your secrets and find tips from like-minded folks on our Facebook page.

Related:

• Good gossip: We spread rumors to protect others
• New secret to resisting junk food: Just put it off
• Bite for bite, women diners copy each other

Hat tip to our pals at Life Inc., who initially covered this study for TODAY.com: Meetings can make you, uh, stupid

By Wynne Parry
LiveScience

New research offers a little Valentine's Day insight: Chilly temperatures can bring the urge to cuddle up … with a romance movie.

After asking undergraduates about movies and looking at online movie rentals, scientists have found evidence that physical coldness activates a need for the psychological warmth. And what feels warmer than love? 

"Research examining the physiology of love has documented that when people are in love, they usually experience sweaty palms, ?ushing, increased heart palpitations, and accelerated breathing all of which are also associated with a physical experience of warmth," write Jiewen Hong, an assistant professor at Hong Kong University of Science and Technology and Yacheng Sun, an assistant professor at the University of Colorado at Boulder.

The desire for warmth then influences our preference for romance movies, they write. 

In a series of experiments, the duo found temperature — which they manipulated with tea or the ambient temperature in rooms — affected the participants' preferences for movies,with cold making romance movies more appealing. They found this effect was independent of mood and gender, but did not apply to those who didn't associate romance movies with psychological warmth.

They also found a relationship between cold temperatures and a preference for romances when comparing online movie rentals to the temperature at the time. [The Cost of Valentine's Day]

Their study is detailed in the February 2012 print issue of the Journal of Consumer Research.

More from LiveScience:

• The 6 Most Tragic Love Stories in History
• How Do I Love Thee? Experts Count 8 Ways
• The Best Valentine's Gift for Tech Lovers

More from TODAY Health:

• Survey: Many married couples still "intensely in love"
• Real-life secrets to making love last for the long haul