Stephanie Pappas
LiveScience

Can men and women be "just friends?" A new study suggests the answer is yes — but guys may be more attracted to their gal friends than vice versa.

Men report more sexual interest in their female friends than their female friends do in them, and men are also more likely than women to overestimate how romantically interested their friends are in them. In most cases, sexual attraction within a friendship is seen as more of a burden than a benefit, the study finds.

"I think men and women do want to be friends, they do want to engage in platonic friendships," said study researcher April Bleske-Rechek, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire. "But the data I've been collecting suggests that attractions can get in the way."

Friends without benefits
Friendship is an interesting area to study because it doesn't have obvious reproductive advantages, Bleske-Rechek told LiveScience. Evolutionary psychologists often focus on sexual relationships and familial relationships, under the assumption that humans evolved to pass on their own genes to the next generation. But friends don't share genetic ties or offspring, and yet they still help each other out.

Related:  Scientific Tips for a Successful Relationship

Bleske-Rechek and her colleagues were interested in how heterosexual, opposite-sex friends dealt with issues of sexual attraction that might come up in their friendships. First, they recruited 88 pairs of opposite-sex, college-age friends to fill out questionnaires about their friendship. The researchers had pairs of friends come in so they could be sure that each member of the pair agreed that they were in a friendship, preventing one-sided relationships from muddying the waters. 

The participants separately answered questions about their friendship, including their levels of attraction to one another. To discourage pressure to share the answers later, the researchers instructed the friends to keep their answers confidential, even after the study.

The results revealed that men are more attracted to their female friends than their female friends are to them. Such overestimating of women's interest is not unusual for men, Bleske-Rechek said.

"Men over-infer women's sexual interest in a variety of contexts, and I definitely see that extending into the domain of cross-sex friendships as well," Bleske-Rechek said.

Attraction to friends
Men who were romantically involved were no less likely than single guys to say they found their female friend attractive or to say they'd like to go on a date with her. Women who were romantically involved were also equally as likely as single gals to be attracted to their male friends, but they drew the line at dating, with fewer women in relationships saying they'd date their guy friend.

Video: Here's what gets women in the mood for love

The researchers next wanted to expand their findings outside the college student realm, so they sent questionnaires 107 young adults ages 18 to 23 and 322 adults between the ages of 27 and 55. In these questionnaires, participants were asked about their cross-sex friendships and were given the opportunity to list their own reasons why those friendships were both beneficial and burdensome.

Although older adults reported fewer opposite-sex friends than the younger group did, everyone was very positive about these friendships, ranking them as overwhelmingly beneficial. But when people listed attraction on the "costs and benefits" list, it almost always fell under a "cost." Almost half of the young adults in the study spontaneously mentioned attraction as a problem in their friendships, the researchers reported April 25 in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

There was a slight sex difference to this finding, such that men were less likely to call sexual attraction to a friend a cost than women were, although they were still unlikely to see it as a positive.

Related: 5 Ways Relationships Are Good for You

"When it does come up as a benefit, it's more likely to be a guy saying it," Bleske-Rechek said.

The finding shouldn't be interpreted to mean that men and women can't be friends, Bleske-Rechek said, just that we may have to overcome our evolutionary history to do so.

"It's very likely that the modern environment has changed so quickly that we've got these novel opportunities to engage in a variety of types of relationship with the opposite sex that we probably didn't, historically," she said. "It's going to take us a while to adjust."

Can men and women be just friends? Tell us about it on Facebook.

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Many unhappily married couples turn to marriage counselors to help them improve their relationship. Now a new type of couples therapy helps them figure out whether the best solution is to call it quits.

"We basically only see people where divorce is on the table," says Bill Doherty, a professor in the family social science department at the University of Minnesota, who was recently featured in a Wall Street Journal story about a new therapy called discernment counseling.

Unlike traditional marriage counseling, in which couples try to work through their marital problems, discernment counseling aims to help struggling couples decide whether to "improve the marriage or let it go," Doherty says.

According to Doherty, who developed the innovative therapy for the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project, many marriage counselors discover during the first session that divorce is already being discussed.

"Around 30 percent of the couples coming into marriage counseling are mixed agenda couples," he says. "Divorce is on the table for one of the parties. Traditional marriage counseling has no way to deal with those people. It's been area of frustration for a lot of marriage counselors."

Joe Guppy, a couples counselor from Seattle, says this has definitely been his experience.

"Couples counselors have been aware for decades of the need to discern whether the couple has come in to stay together or to break up," he says. "Oftentimes, one of the couple knows he or she wants to leave, hasn't told the partner and is essentially bringing the counselor on board to help soften the blow."

Doherty refers to these spouses as "leaning out," while those who want to stay in the marriage are "leaning in."

"The name discernment counseling is important because sometimes the person who is leaning out will run the clock out on marriage counseling," he says. "They'll show up, but won't really try, then will pronounce that marriage counseling didn't work. What I say is, 'We don't know if marriage counseling will work. We haven't tried it yet. We're deciding whether or not to do it.'"

What makes discernment counseling different?

Aside from slapping out the D-word for all to discuss, the practice incorporates both individual and couples counseling.

"They both come in and there's a check-in [with a counselor], then you meet for part of the session with one [spouse] and part of the session with the other," says Doherty. "Then there's a check-out, where you meet with both and summarize what each is taking out with them. Marriage counseling is primarily both people in the room at the same time, working on their problems together."

Couples meet with a discernment counselor up to five times, but can stop whenever they want. During the first session, the counselor will talk to both about what's been good (and bad) about the marriage and will ask what they've done to iron out their difficulties. The counselor will also lay out three paths -- staying in the marriage as is, moving toward a divorce, or trying a six-month-long reconciliation path in which they work on the marriage via traditional couples therapy.

So far, Doherty and his colleagues have worked with 50 couples and are currently training additional counselors in the practice. While no data is available yet on whether discernment counseling is more effective than traditional counseling with regard to keeping a couple together (traditional marriage counseling has a success rate of 70 to 80 percent), Doherty says the response from marriage counselors has been overwhelming.

"They have not had any specific tools or protocols to deal with the mixed agenda couple," he says. "Over time, we have to evaluate and study it and it may be that better tools will come along. But there's been a big gap in the field."

Annie Lareau, a 43-year-old arts administrator from Seattle who divorced after several years of couples therapy, says she thinks discernment counseling sounds like a promising idea.

"I think it's a more realistic approach," she says. "It would be horrible if you went to a counselor, trying to save [your marriage] and then when it ended, you had no support. There's so much to work out as a couple in terms of your future, especially if you have children. Counseling allows you to move on faster."

Working with both parties individually helps ease what can be a traumatic process, says Doherty, especially in cases where one partner is left shell-shocked, bitter and angry by their spouse's desire to leave.

"We work with the leaning out person separately, helping them not do further damage to the marriage," he says. "And we help the leaning in person, too. A lot of times when the decision's been sprung on somebody, they complain and scold and call the relatives and tell the kids, 'Mommy's trying to throw me out of the house.' We help the leaning in spouse bring their best game to this crisis, as opposed to that desperate game you bring when you get that message."

Mainly, discernment counseling helps the couple truly think through what can be a life-altering decision.

"It's almost always a good idea to slow it down and look at the marriage from five different angles, including what your own role in it was," says Doherty. "You can't divorce yourself. If people end a marriage without looking at their own contributions to the problems, they are leaving with a big blind spot. And the divorce rate in second marriages is even higher than first marriages."

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Even though Americans are marrying older, the divorce rate has remained high, a new government report shows.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention researchers found that the median age for women getting hitched for the first time has risen to almost 26 and to over 28 for men.

Among women there was just a 52 percent chance that a first marriage would survive for 20 years, according to the report from the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics. Men appeared to be slightly more successful, with a 56 percent chance of a first marriage surviving for two decades.

The older marriage age doesn’t mean that people aren’t getting into relationships – they’re just choosing to live together instead.  “There’s been a real rise in the prevalence of cohabitation,” said the report’s lead author, Casey E. Copen, a demographer with the National Survey of Family Growth at the National Center for Health Statistics.

The percentage of women living with a partner (as opposed to marrying him) has nearly quadrupled from 3 percent in 1982 to 11 percent in the newest survey. The earlier surveys included data only from women so the researchers couldn’t look at whether there had been a change in the rate at which men were choosing to live together rather than to marry.  

The new report includes information from 22,682 Americans between the ages of 15 and 44 who were interviewed in their homes between 2006 and 2010. The researchers also had data from six earlier surveys dating back to 1973 to compare with the new information.

One intriguing finding from the study is that more highly educated people wedded later -- and had longer lasting marriages. Copen and her colleagues found that 78 percent of women with at least a bachelor’s degree had made it to their 20^th anniversary as compared to 41 percent of women with only a high school diploma. Similarly, 65 percent of college educated men saw a 20^th anniversary as compared to 47 percent of the men who hadn’t gone beyond high school.

That falls in line with other new research showing that blue collar folks are less likely to get married than their white collar counterparts, Copen said. “Research has shown that there’s a socioeconomic divide between those who marry and those who don’t,” she added. “People may be more likely to transition to marriage when they feel more economically stable.”

The researchers also found that the lack of a marriage certificate isn’t keeping people from having babies. “A lot of women and men have children while cohabitating,” Copen said.

So, did the new report shed any light on what it takes to stay married? Maybe - depending on how you interpret the results.

For one thing, if you want to stay hitched, you probably shouldn’t choose someone who’s gotten divorced. Looking only at first marriages, just 38 percent of women who chose to wed a divorced man were still married by their 20^th anniversary, as compared to 54 percent of those who wed a man who’d never been married.

Another possible predictor of a shortened wedded bliss: marrying someone who already has kids. Looking only at women in a first marriage, just 37 percent of those marrying a man with kids made it to their platinum anniversary as compared to 54 percent of those who wed a man with no children.

Still, children may indeed be the glue that keeps people together – if they’re conceived and born after the couple marries.

Among women who remained childless just 50 percent reached their platinum anniversary as compared to 77 percent of those who bore children at least 8 months after getting married.

In the end, the report may be telling us something good about the way Americans view marriage.  

Although women are taking longer to decide to get hitched, they are still doing it at about the same rate as they were back in 1995.

Is there anything about your marriage you'd like to improve?

Take our poll and then tune into TODAY Wednesday (3/14) when we will talk to author Elizabeth Weil and experts about what it means to have a good marriage.

If you answered yes, let us know what areas you'd like to improve in the comment section below.

Read an excerpt from Weil's book, "No Cheating, No Dying: I Had a Good Marriage. Then I Tried to Make it Better."

Also answer our poll about whether or not you have a good marriage here.

Is your marriage good, or good enough? 

Take our poll and then tune into TODAY Wednesday (3/14) when we will talk to author Elizabeth Weil and experts about what it means to have a good marriage.

Answer our second marriage question, about whether or not there are areas you would like to improve in your marriage here.

Read an excerpt from Weil's book, "No Cheating, No Dying: I Had a Good Marriage. Then I Tried to Make it Better."

Discuss your thoughts on what makes a good marriage in the comment section below.

Breaking up is hard to do, but making up can be miserable, says a new study.

A couple of years ago, Melissa Braverman broke up with the guy she'd been dating for six months, then had second thoughts and begged him to take her back. He did -- which is when the trouble really started.

"It ended up being a disaster," says the 38-year-old from Manhattan. "He never forgave me for hurting him and was repeatedly cold and distant. He didn't trust me the same way and I felt guarded because I could tell he was retreating. It was unpleasant and emotionally exhausting."

While painful, their rocky reunion was spot on with regard to the predicted outcome for recycled romances, a new study out of Kansas State University has found.

"Most people have been dumped and can relate to that longing for an ex and the dream of a second chance," says Amber Vennum, assistant professor of family studies and human services at Kansas State University, and author of the study. "But in real life, as much as it hurts, maybe there are relationships that are better off left as memories."

For the study, Vennum analyzed data from a score of old and young "cyclical couples" (couples who break up, then make up) as well as noncyclical couples (those who stick together through thick and thin) and found that cyclical couples tend to have a much tougher time after reuniting.

Among their problems, these couples reported less communication, greater disillusionment and lower satisfaction and commitment.

They also tended to "slide" more.

"Cyclical partners tend to report less conscious decision-making in their relationships; there's more 'sliding,' the term we use for moving through relationship transitions without fully considering the implications," says Vennum. "They are more uncertain about the status of the relationship."

In addition, couples who break up and then make up are more likely to do the same thing while living together, and to experience a trial separation during marriage.

"On average, partners who were cyclical while dating enter marriage in a slightly more challenging spot than their non-cyclical partners," says Vennum. "[They] report more uncertainty about whether getting married is the best decision and begin the marriage with more destructive conflict, less feelings of closeness to their partner and lower satisfaction."

Vennum says in the world of romance research, there are plenty of theories as to why we continually try to rekindle old flames, even though we may know better.

"Some people miss their partner or are uncertain why they broke up or they feel the relationship has improved," she says. "It may be a combination of factors such as continued attachment to the previous partner, less closure if the reason for the breakup was not very clear, or constraints, such as having a child together or living together."

As for the "let's be friends" approach, Vennum says there needs to be more research done to see whether friendship with an ex is a feasible alternative.

"From what we know ... it would probably be less risky if the break-up is mutual and there is clarity on the status of the relationship post-breakup," she says. "[But] it may be risky if there is continued attachment. Researchers have found that on days when we see our exes, we feel more feelings of love towards them than on days we don't."

What's her advice for couples going through a breakup?

"Be clear about the ending of the relationship and why it is ending -- in a kind but firm way," she says, adding that time apart from each other is also key.

Vennum doesn't dismiss the idea of a recycled romance altogether, though, which is good news for those of us still pining for an ex. Or, for those of us who simply love to see our favorite celebrities and soap opera characters play round after round of relationship ping pong.

"If the reasons that have previously kept you apart become resolved, be very clear with yourself and with each other what your commitment levels are to the relationship and go slow," she says.

As for Braverman, who blogs about dating at SingleGalNYC, she says she's sworn off recycled love affairs for now.

"You can revisit but it doesn't mean the outcome is going to be any different," she says. "It never is. Just have faith in yourself and your judgment. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache."

Have you been part of a cyclical couple? And did it work out for you? Tell us on Facebook.

Related stories:

• Many married couples still 'intensely in love,' survey finds
• Couples who cohabitate are happier than marrieds, study finds

By Wynne Parry
LiveScience

New research offers a little Valentine's Day insight: Chilly temperatures can bring the urge to cuddle up … with a romance movie.

After asking undergraduates about movies and looking at online movie rentals, scientists have found evidence that physical coldness activates a need for the psychological warmth. And what feels warmer than love? 

"Research examining the physiology of love has documented that when people are in love, they usually experience sweaty palms, ?ushing, increased heart palpitations, and accelerated breathing all of which are also associated with a physical experience of warmth," write Jiewen Hong, an assistant professor at Hong Kong University of Science and Technology and Yacheng Sun, an assistant professor at the University of Colorado at Boulder.

The desire for warmth then influences our preference for romance movies, they write. 

In a series of experiments, the duo found temperature — which they manipulated with tea or the ambient temperature in rooms — affected the participants' preferences for movies,with cold making romance movies more appealing. They found this effect was independent of mood and gender, but did not apply to those who didn't associate romance movies with psychological warmth.

They also found a relationship between cold temperatures and a preference for romances when comparing online movie rentals to the temperature at the time. [The Cost of Valentine's Day]

Their study is detailed in the February 2012 print issue of the Journal of Consumer Research.

More from LiveScience:

• The 6 Most Tragic Love Stories in History
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• The Best Valentine's Gift for Tech Lovers

More from TODAY Health:

• Survey: Many married couples still "intensely in love"
• Real-life secrets to making love last for the long haul

We recently reported on new research that suggests that many married couples who have been together for a long time are still deeply in love.

The national survey of married Americans found that  40 percent of those who'd been married at least 10 years said they remained "very intensely" in love with their partner. The study sought to determine whether long-term romantic love was just a rare phenomenon, but researchers found just the opposite. Even for the longest marriages -- three decades or more -- 40 percent of women and 35 percent of men said they were still madly in love. 

So we turned to TODAY Health readers on Facebook who have had happy, successful, long-term marriages, and asked the million dollar question: Just how do you do it?

Some gave us insight into truly amazing partnerships. Susan Hennink Olthof says she is still "deeply in love" with her husband of 40 years. Their secrets?

"Commitment to our marriage, laughter, shared values and faith in God, willingness to allow each other to grow and change...I could keep going! We're not perfect individually, but as close to being as perfect a couple as I know!"

Peggy Zampetti Frederick has been married for more than 35 years. She says she and her husband's longevity secret actually isn't a secret at all. 

"We make a conscious effort to remember that it's not about "me" . . . it's about "us". With this philosophy and the ability to laugh at our many foibles, we have weathered many a storm."

Many readers also shared photos, along with their stories and marital advice. Read on to see what keeps them ticking, from weekly date nights to common interests to making sure the marriage recipe has ingredients such as support, humor and trust.

Courtesy of Ida Pence Waterous

The Waterouses have been together 43 years and say they are still "very much in love," says Ida Waterous. "Our secret? Faith, honesty, being each others best friends and fighting fair when necessary."

Courtesy Malgorzata Baker

The Bakers celebrate 19 years of marriage next month. Their advice? "RESPECT and LOVE ♥ is the key."

Courtesy Laura Geffre

The Geffres have been dating for 18 years and have been married for 12. Says Laura Geffre: "Communication, space, support, humor, and trust. ♥ No one better suited for me than this guy."

Courtesy Lea Hatch

The Hatches have been "madly in love" since they were kids, says Lea Hatch. "First met at ages 6 and 8 while taking piano lessons together .. and first dated in highschool ... married now for 31 years. We still have 'Thursday Date Night' together -- and still enjoy discovering "firsts" together! Seven kids, 14 grandkids, gray hair & creaking knees .. but I love this man dearly -- and I'm still his sweetie!"

Courtesy Sarah Thomas Bobo

Sarah Bobo writes of her marriage: "After our struggles with infertility and then having 4 kids, 3 of which came prematurely, we have had our fair share of stress and pain. The one thing I would emphasis more then any is to put the other person first. It is so important to be aware of your partner's needs and not to be selfish. I have found that this helps me to be closer and more in love with my husband daily, even after 12 years of marriage!"

Courtesy Amanda Southard

Says Amanda Southard of the 12 years she has shared with her partner: "I believe it's because we have a lot in common...both were in the military, we enjoy motorcycle riding, and raising our children."

Courtesy Jude Reed Fore

Mark and Judy Fore are celebrating 21 years of marriage this year. Says Judy: "Our marriage continues to bring each of us such joy and happiness that we share with our 3 sons. It works because it's a 50/50 relationship, with plenty of love, trust, honesty and FUN! We enjoy spending time together, take "Anniversary" trips and make sure we have "date" night every weekend. We love football,Jimmy Buffett Concerts and can finish each other's thoughts out loud...I pray that we have been a good example for our sons so that they have successful relationships ...Marriage is a commitment, but when it's right, it is soooooooooooooo right!"

Courtesy Laura Renwick Tiedge

The Tiedges have adored each other for almost 28 years.Laura Tiedge's advice: "Love your children but don't let parenting consume your relationship as a couple! Once they are grown you'll want to still love/like each other!"

Courtesy Bev Haut

Dave and Bev Haut, together for 16 years. Bev tells their story: "We met online; I lived in Atlanta, he lived in SoCal, and we somehow found each other. The secret to our success? We have a common goal: caring more about the other's happiness than our own."

Courtesy Janie Heniford

The Henifords have been madly in love for 27 years, and Janie explains why: "What's made our romance last, i believe, is that we don't just love each other -- we're really, truly in love with each other. My heart still flips when he walks in the door. I still consider myself the luckiest girl in the world."

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• Why celebrity split-ups (like Klum and Seal!) bum us out 
• A bad friend -- or lousy roomie -- can really make you sick

Sue and Bob Frause, who have been married for 37 years, say one of the keys to their long romance is to not take the little stuff too seriously. "It's got to be fun, otherwise, why bother?" says Sue Frause.

Sue and Bob Frause of Langely, Wash., have been happily married for 37 years. Or, as they might title the story of their lives: "Man, woman happily married for 37 years." 

One of their goofier common interests: the pair often slips into headline-speak, a result of their shared background in communication careers. (It's usually used to soften the edge of a request that might otherwise be considered naggy, explains Sue Frause. For example, she says, rather than calling her husband out for not doing the dishes, "I'll walk by the kitchen and go, 'Man leaves dishes in sink, woman throws pot out window' .... then and then he laughs and I laugh and it's not an issue.")

Sometimes it seems like a couple that's still in love after decades together actually is rare enough to warrant a news headline. Most of us assume that the sparks that fly during those dizzy, dreamy first days of a relationship fade with time. (Or, as Oscar Wilde phrased it: "One should always be in love; that is the reason one should never marry.") 

But that doesn't have to be the case, a growing number of studies are suggesting.

In a new national survey of married Americans, 40 percent of those who'd been married at least 10 years said they remained "very intensely" in love with their partner. The study sought to determine whether long-term romantic love was just a rare phenomenon, and the researchers, led by Daniel O'Leary, a clinical psychologist at Stony Brook University in Stony Brook, N.Y., were surprised to find just the opposite. Even for the longest marriages -- three decades or more -- 40 percent of women and 35 percent of men said they were still madly in love. 

The report, done by social psychologists at Stony Brook University and Harvey Mudd College, is already published online, and will appear in the March issue of the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.

The report gathered data through a randomized telephone survey done over about four weeks in August and September of 2007, and the study results were drawn from the 274 married individuals across the U.S. who completed the survey. On average, the respondents were in their mid- to late-40s, and had been married for around 20 years. (A second survey was conducted in the fall of 2009, surveying just New York state residents. Just 33 percent of those living in New York state said they were still intensely in love with their long-term partners. But the researchers expected that -- those in the Northeast tend to report lower levels of happiness and well-being in general.)

They also wanted to find out some of the reasons why love sometimes does last for the long haul: Those who said they remained "intensely" in love were also more likely to think positively about their partner and to think about their partner when they were apart; they also reported more frequent hugs, kisses and, yes, sex. Lasting love was also associated with common interests -- especially those that were new or challenging -- and general life happiness. On the other hand, the results also identified two things that don't matter when it comes to long-term love: education level and money.

"The idea is we don't have to assume that it's just going to be serving the oatmeal to each other" as the decades slip by, says Arthur Aron, a social psychologist at Stony Brook University and one of the authors of this study.

Sue Frause, 61, says she and Bob, 66, believe intensity is good when it comes to love - but not when it comes to day to day issues that can get heated. They say one of the secrets to their relationship is that "we've learned to diffuse things that have become amplified so it's not that big of a deal," she says. "... It's got to be fun, otherwise, why bother?"

She says both of them strive to keep the romance alive, even in the simple things. He husband Bob, 66, recently made her a CD mix of love songs. For Valentine's Day, she's making him the same dinner she first made him when they were were dating. "I call it 'Sentimental Stroganoff'," she says.

Last January, Aron authored a study that looked at brain scans of adults in long-term marriages who said they still felt in love now as they had at the beginning of their relationship. They compared those images with brain scans of couples who had just fallen in love. The scans found similar activity in both types of couples in the ventral tegmental area, the reward-processing region of the brain. 

OK, but how do you make sure love sticks around? This may be that rare instance where advice found in women's magazines is right: Try something new together. You could take a class, start a new hobby or learn a new sport -- but it could be even simpler than that. Aron and his wife recently decided to do something together they hadn't done in years: hang out at a bar. 

And, as it turns out, you may be doing your part simply by reading this post. We assume that love can't last because that's what we hear again and again. But knowing that isn't always the case may be the first step to lasting love."There is actually a possibility that it's not just a fairy tale, that there are people that live happily ever after," Aron says. "Some people actually do it." 

TODAY.com contributor Diane Mapes contributed to this post.

What's the secret to your lasting love? Tell us on Facebook.

Related: 

• Why celebrity split-ups (like Klum and Seal!) bum us out 
• A bad friend -- or lousy roomie -- can really make you sick

Men, do you and your wife have hot topics you argue over? Does your wife nag you? Take our quiz and then tune in to TODAY Wednesday morning to hear relationship experts Judith Sills and Hal Runkel discuss the results. You can also tell TODAY what the hot button issues are in your marriage and our experts will offer tips on navigating the day-to-day speedbumps of matrimony. (And ladies, we'd like to hear from you too - there's a poll for you here.)

Do you and your spouse have hot button issues that you always find yourself arguing over? Take our quiz and then tune in to TODAY Wednesday morning to hear relationship experts Judith Sills and Hal Runkel discuss the results. You can also tell TODAY what the hot button issues are in your marriage and our experts will offer tips on navigating the day-to-day speedbumps of matrimony.